this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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