god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
