i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
