Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think my fart just growled at me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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