So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
