So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize