Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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