There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
