where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
