there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
