It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
