she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I believe in your delicious
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
