I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I think my moral compass just broke
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize