You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
