shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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