you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize