i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
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