I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
