found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
