my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize