i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
