why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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