I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
