Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
