we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the day after is always just damage control
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
