I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
