I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize