so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
