she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
