Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
vagina is talking i cant
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
