no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
