This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
