alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
