you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
