Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
