How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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