yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
