It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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