i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
