Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
