Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
