so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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