apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize