My nipple is on Facebook.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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