If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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