last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
