I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize