Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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