I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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