I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
