ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
