Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
