is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
