Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
honey bunches of taint.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
