I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
