she woke up with a sticky ear
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize