i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
