is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
