Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
