so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
