fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
