How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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