They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
