is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I don't deserve a penis
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
